roz russell…roughly speaking

I am going to end up like ros russell in the movie roughly speaking. 

what is my incessant need to do things myself?  why doesit bother me so much when people do me favors?  I hate when people do favors, they always want something in return, it might be twenty years from now…but they will want something in return.  I hate when my day gets screwed up by someone elses screw-up. 

Why in the hell do I think that I can get married?  The love of my life will no doubt end up leaving me as ros russell’s first movie husband did…because I will run everything.  I can’t let it go.  I believe I have reached a new burial depth for my true feelings.  Just as soon as I feel that I’ve reached a new level of maturity and can deal with certain things, I collapse into a bi-polar meltdown.  HE THINKS I’M CRAZY!!!  I know he does, he shuushes me in public when my soapbox is to loud,  and then later tells me it’s ‘cute’.  He talks me off the ledge when I hang up on him without reason, leave without saying goodbye, and slam doors without the slightest explanation.  WHYYYY?  One day he will snap, and be done with me.  I am not cut out for humble domestication.  But I would get eaten alive if I were on my own!

Heaven Help me, if I could end up like Ros with Jack carson my future wouldn’t seem so uncertain.